Heart of Gold
by lildreamer7
Summary: COMPLETE! There were things there he missed so much. He forgot why he left. Grillows.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Heart of Gold

**Author:** lildreamer

**Rating:** K

**Pairing:** Grillows

**Spoilers:** 9 Down, One to Go

**Summary:** There were things there he missed so much. He forgot why he left.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own CSI or any of its characters. If I did, Grissom wouldn't have left. Although, I did enjoy that episode last Thursday. It was like watching a new show—in a good way. Reminded me of my coworkers on their first day of work…and mine, too!

**A/N:** This fic is meant to take place during "One to Go" and on through the rest of the season.

**Now, on with the story…**

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"Somehow, I knew you'd be here."

Her soft, pleasant voice mingled with the crunching of leaves beneath her feet as she strode toward her boss and best friend. Once she was at his side, she followed his gaze to a familiar gravestone.

He sighed, lowering his head. "I never should've…"

"It's not your fault, Gil," his friend replied, reassuringly. She lifted her head, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. "He knew what he was doing."

Grissom shook his head. "But it's _my_ responsibility, Catherine." He stared down at the grave of their fallen teammate, his eyes burning with unshed tears. "I had a responsibility to Warrick—to care for him and protect him. The same as I have to you and the rest of the team. The same as _you'll_ have to them."

Catherine frowned. She didn't want to be reminded of what was going to happen in the next few days. She didn't think she could bear another goodbye. But deep down, she knew she had to let him go.

She glanced over at her friend's haggard face. He was breathing, but nothing more. Frozen from the inside out. His salt-and-pepper hair was disheveled. His dark blue eyes seemed more desperate than enchanting now. Their rock, this man who didn't seem to know fear, was breaking. He needed rest. And if that meant leaving CSI…who was she to stop him?

She sighed. "So, I guess that's it then. You'll be getting a long overdue vacation and I'll get—"

"You'll get what you've always wanted," Grissom said, turning to face her. "In my absence, you'll become the new supervisor of the grave shift."

"This isn't what I wanted," Catherine said softly, her eyes downcast. "Not like this."

Grissom looked away, his throat tightening with a flood of emotions. When he decided to give everyone the news of his departure, he hadn't been completely prepared for their reaction. Nick had been quiet about it, but he knew the Texan CSI was angry with him. They all were. Even Hodges wouldn't talk to him. Greg, the youngest of his team, had looked so disappointed. He'd let him down. He'd let them all down. And Catherine…she looked so heartbroken. He knew it would be hard to say goodbye, but this...

"Catherine, I..." He lowered his head, fighting the flood of tears threatening to fall. "My life is falling apart." He closed his eyes, allowing a trickle of tears to slide down his cheeks. "I can't do this anymore."

When he lifted his tearstained face, he saw that Catherine was watching him with anguish in her eyes. She didn't argue. How could she? She knew the pain he felt. They'd both seen too much death and lost too many they cared for. She reached for him then, slipping her hand into his. She gave it a gentle squeeze, willing the pain to stop and embracing it all at once.

Their eyes met.

And for a brief moment, she saw about a dozen emotions flash through his eyes. Then he suddenly pulled his hand away for hers and turned away. She gazed at his back, confused.

"I have nothing more to give, Catherine," he said quietly. "And it's time for you to be on your own."

"But—"

"You've learned everything you need. Now, all you have to learn is how to say _goodbye_."

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving her standing alone in front of their friend's grave. She watched his retreating figure, crestfallen. He was really leaving. By their next shift, he would be gone.

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**So, whaddaya think? Want more?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, ya'll! Thanx 4 all the reviews! Here's another chappy for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!**

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Grissom sighed as he glanced around his office, which by tomorrow would no longer belong to him. He was trying to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. He was leaving tonight. Leaving CSI. Las Vegas. All of it. He was closing up this chapter of his life and moving on. But why did it feel more like he was running away?

He was shutting a drawer when his eyes rested on a picture frame sitting on his desk, the only thing left to pack up from that area of the room. He picked it up and ran his fingers across the photograph inside. They'd all looked so happy then…

"You're gonna miss this, you know," a quiet voice said, startling him.

He looked up and found Catherine standing in the doorway. He acknowledged her then glanced back down at the picture of the friends, the family, he was about to leave behind. The photo was taken over five years ago at some charity function. There were still six of them then. As he continued to stare at the picture, he could almost see Sara slowly fade away from her position beside Nick. Then Warrick followed, vanishing from within Catherine's sideways hug. A single tear slid quietly down his cheek.

He couldn't seem to stop the waves of regret and sorrow that kept washing over him. He'd failed on every level, and he'd done it in such short order. Just a few years ago the team was all together, happily working side by side. In one year, he'd loved and lost one of the few people he'd had the courage to open his heart to. Worse, he had let one of his closest friends get killed by one seriously corrupted cop.

And even worse, he felt he had let Catherine down. He didn't understand why, but this seemed like the greatest of his sins.

"Gil…" Catherine was now standing beside him and was reaching to touch his shoulder when he swiftly moved away.

"Catherine, please…don't." Grissom set the picture frame back on the desk as he spoke. "I've made up my mind. I—"

Catherine put her fingers to his lips, silencing him. He gave her a puzzled look. She smiled softly, moving her fingers to touch his cheek. "I just want you to be happy…whatever you decide."

He studied her eyes, brimming with tears, and fought another wave of guilt. All he could see in those soft, blue eyes was nothing but love and understanding. His heart melted for her. He smiled wide, stupidly, but it didn't matter. He didn't have to pretend with Catherine.

He threw his arms around her and hugged her tight. She stood still in his arms for moment, taken by surprise by his sudden show of affection. Then she finally put her arms around him, relishing his embrace.

"I'm gonna miss you, too," she whispered, smiling through her tears.

They spent the rest of the evening together packing up his things. They were working on the last of the shelves carrying his specimen jars. She was laughing and telling him about a suspect that she had once encountered that had been dressed as a clown in a tutu. Next to everything he'd been through in the last few months, Grissom felt unusually peaceful, as if he was in the company of his guardian angel. It might've been the best night of his life.

"Hey…what's this?" Catherine asked, pulling the object she'd found out of its hiding place behind a jar holding a rather hairy tarantula. It was two broken pieces of smooth wood that when taken together formed a heart.

"Queen Alexandra's birdwing," she muttered, running her fingers across the intricate butterfly design carved on its face. "The world's largest butterfly."

"That's right," Grissom said, impressed by her knowledge of the insect.

"Where'd you get it?"

"I found it at a garage sale about a year ago." The expression on his face saddened. "I was going to give to Sara…before she left."

"Oh…" Catherine's face softened. She hadn't meant to bring up bad memories. "How'd it end up like this?"

He stared ahead, almost seeing the memories replay before his eyes. "The night she left—it was on my desk—I was still in shock over what she'd done and I didn't notice. I accidently knocked over a stack of folders and—well, you know the domino effect. Sustained a good-sized crack. It didn't completely break, though until a few months ago. After Warrick…I was just so angry. I grabbed the closest thing I could get my hands on and—"

"You didn't," Catherine cut in, piecing together what had probably happened.

Grissom gave a slight nod and a chuckle. "Yeah, threw it all the way across the room. Left evidence, too." He pointed to a small but noticeable dent in the wall behind one of the shelves. "Conrad's gonna kill me. Anyway, after that, I put it away and forgot about it until now.

"It's a shame," Catherine remarked thoughtfully, gently handing him the broken ornament. "It's beautiful."

"It was…" Grissom's voice trailed off as he gazed down at the object in his hands.

A cell phone suddenly chimed loudly. Catherine reached into her pocket and glanced down at the brightly lit screen of her iPhone.

She frowned. "Gotta go, duty calls. You know how it is."

He nodded, understanding and watched as she scurried out of his office. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He really was going to miss her. Catherine was an amazing woman. A true friend.

She paused in the hallway and turned, smiling a small, sad half-smile. "Goodbye, Gil."

"Goodbye, Catherine."

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**Love it? Hate it? Want more?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, everyone! Here's another chapter! You may recognized this scene from "One to Go." Only this version has my take on it. Enjoy!**

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That night, as Grissom wandered the hallways of the crime lab for the last time, he couldn't help the flood of emotions that seemed to overcome him as he observed all his friends still hard at work, lost in their own little worlds…well, most of them anyway.

Archie was showing Ecklie something on his computer in the A/V lab. From the look on the new undersheriff's face, it must have been something interesting. Hodges and Wendy were talking quietly in the DNA lab. A smile crept onto the DNA tech's face at something the Trace tech had told her. Mandy, Henry, and David were chatting in another lab, all work forgotten for the time being. Greg sat in the next lab, working diligently by himself, seemingly oblivious of the random lab rats darting in and out of the room around him. Riley and Doc Robbins were hovering over the lighted table in the layout room. The ME was pointing something out to her on one of the numerous photographs lying in front of them. Nick and the newest recruit, Dr. Raymond Langston (or as he told everyone to call him, "Ray") were examining a car in the CSI garage. The two seemed to be getting along fine and from the look of things, the professor showed great potential.

He finally came to the end of his journey and found Catherine and Jim in the break room deep in discussion about a case. He stood there for a moment watching as his two closest friends exchanged information.

Feeling someone's eyes on her, Catherine glanced up and noticed him standing there. She could see his mind spinning behind glassy eyes. He was looking at her differently. With a newfound understanding. Maybe even respect.

She smiled and gave him a wink and with it an unspoken wish for a safe journey to his new home and new life wherever that would be. A promise that he was leaving his team in good hands. And a reminder that no matter how far he went, he could always come back to Las Vegas.

He smiled back.

He was gonna miss CSI. The place held so many memories. Lots of ups and downs, pleasures and pains. But that was life. And he'd long ago learned to accept the bad with the good. Because he knew that without the bad times, he would never be able to appreciate the good times. Life was precious, and he cherished every moment.

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**This story's not done, yet. Want more?**


	4. Chapter 4

**The Steelers win!!! Okay, anyway, here's another chappy for ya! Thanx for all the reviews! Enjoy!**

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The next day, after her shift ended, Catherine found herself standing outside the door of her former boss' office. She stood in the doorway, gathering the strength to enter. Then fanned her hand over the switch on the near wall.

Lights blazed overhead.

She slowly lifted her eyes and couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness as she gazed into the vacant room. It looked so empty. The walls that had once been covered with framed documents and mounted insects were now completely bare. The clutter that had once overtaken the desk and shelves had been cleared out. There was almost no trace left of Grissom.

He was really gone.

Yet, what little remained still served as a reminder of him. The beautiful desk he had been given long before she'd joined the lab. The nice, plush office chair he'd fought the higher-ups to have. The shelves he'd purchased himself to store his numerous forensic books and bug collection. A few dusty, old law books he'd left behind atop one of the shelves. All him.

She forced her legs to take her across the room to the desk. The company laptop he'd been assigned had been left there, folded shut for the first time in what seemed like years. The telephone sat beside it, now forever silent. Boxes full of old newspaper clippings and photographs sat on the floor next to the desk waiting to be disposed of. Case files that spanned years stood in a neat stack nearby waiting to be stored away.

She touched his old chair, rubbing her fingers against the soft material. She sighed, memories of her best friend filling her mind. How many nights had he spent here, methodically combing through the minutiae, searching for clues to a killer's motives, his next move, his identity?

Of all of them, he worked the hardest. But he was also the hardest hit. Though he rarely showed it, he truly cared for the victims involved in their cases. He wouldn't stop searching for evidence and interrogating suspects until he found justice. And when there was one he couldn't solve, it would haunt him forever. No one ever knew of this side of him, except Catherine.

He'd always been very good at hiding his emotions, but he could never hide them from her. She knew him too well. A tear broke down her left cheek.

Things would never be the same without him.

She was just about to leave when she noticed something lying in the middle of the desk. She immediately recognized the wooden ornament. She carefully scooped the pieces into her hands and examined them thoughtfully. Two separate but equally devastating events had contributed to its breaking. And now it had been left behind.

As she continued to gaze at the broken heart, she wondered if it could ever be fixed.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, everyone! Here's another chappy for ya'll. Thanx 4 all the reviews! Enjoy!**

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_5 months later…_

Grissom sat in his new home studying the small package he'd just picked up from the post office. The postmark indicated that it had come from Las Vegas and had been sent a few weeks ago. And the mailing label identified the sender as one Catherine Willows.

Seeing his best friend's name brought back memories of the life he'd left behind. Catherine somehow always knew when something was bothering him. And he could still remember the strange look she used to give him at those times. A cross between concern and empathy. He could almost hear Nick's slightly accented voice and remembered how the country boy wore his heart on his sleeve. He genuinely cared about people and wasn't afraid to show it. At times, Grissom had found himself wishing he could be more like him. And then he remembered Greg, the youngest of them and always the goofball. His youthful antics always brought out the kid in all of them, even an old, grumpy man like him. The images of his old friends flooded him with warmth.

He sighed. There were things there he missed so much. He forgot why he left.

He carefully opened the package, unsure of what he would find. His eyes widened when he saw what was inside. Lying neatly atop a bed of shredded newspaper was the broken ornament he'd left behind all those months ago. But it wasn't broken anymore. It was whole, the previous damage barely visible.

A lump formed in his throat. The sight of the repaired heart was more profound to him than Catherine could have ever imagined. He never thought it could be fixed. But there it was. He gazed at it in wonder, as if seeing it for the very first time. Amazed at its artistry, taken by its beauty. And the fact that it had once been broken but was now restored seemed to make it all the more beautiful to him.

He gently lifted the small object out of the box, his eyes misted with tears, his heart swelling with love for the one woman who had cared enough to see how broken it really was and tried to put the pieces back together. He held the ornament tightly to his chest and closed his eyes, releasing a trickle of tears. Only this time, they were tears of joy not of despair.

Catherine had mended his broken heart.

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**Okay, one more chap to go! Keep the reviews coming if you want to see it! The last one's special!**


	6. Chapter 6

**All right, everyone, here's the last chappy! Thanx 4 all the reviews…you guys rock! Now, read on and enjoy!**

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She sat at her desk, phone pressed to her ear, busy jotting down notes. Though the voice on the other line held most of her attention, she heard the echoing footsteps that came down the hallway and paused just outside her office door.

"Just a second," she told her visitor, without bothering to look up.

He watched her from the doorway, smiling at the expression of fierce concentration on her face. He'd thought of her a thousand times since he'd left, but his mind's eye could never have prepared him for seeing her now. Nothing had changed. It had been months since they had bid each other goodbye, but almost everything was as he left it. Even her. Her blue eyes still sparkled like stars. And she still had one of those faces that looked airbrushed all the time, even without a speck of make-up. The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Of course, he hadn't exactly been seeing a lot of women lately.

She held his job now, bound by the life he'd left behind. And she appeared to be handling the workload much better than he had.

"Catherine…"

She stilled. The way he'd said her name—she knew that voice! Her head shot up, her eyes wide. She stared at him, disbelieving.

"Gr—Grissom?"

Her former boss smiled at her warmly. Her heart skipped a beat. Then she noticed the small object clutched in his right hand. The heart. A broad smile spread across her face, her eyes welling with tears.

Bursting with emotion, Catherine jumped out of her seat, absentmindedly hanging up the phone, and practically ran to him. She couldn't help herself. She'd never felt so happy to see him in all her life.

She threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. "You came back."

Grissom pulled back, drinking in the wonderful vision in front of him. She stood just up to his chin, slender and graceful. This was Catherine, his best friend. His only real friend. Looking at her now, he wondered how he survived without her. After all, what was a king without the power behind the throne.

He gently brushed a few stray strands of hair from her face, beaming. "I came _home_."

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**So, whaddaya think? Love it? Hate? Wish it would actually happen? *Wink, wink* Anyway, hope you enjoyed it! Keep a look out for other fics from me. I'm always coming out with stuff. If you have any ideas for something you'd like me to write about, feel free to share! Who knows, I may use it for my next fic! ; )**


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